


I need you always

by Veronicaa



Category: Castle
Genre: F/F, Post-Season/Series 08 Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 10:33:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20080744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veronicaa/pseuds/Veronicaa
Summary: Caskett fanfiction. My vision of season 9. What happened after they got shoot? What happened to LokSat case? Read and you will know😘





	1. Day from my dreams

I'd never been happier. Me, my wife our beautiful kids all eating breakfast together. It was like a dream that i always pray to come true. And now look at this we are here together. After being shoot, kidnapped, thrown to the one room with a hungry tiger and that is only beggining of what we came through. But happines never last forever and I can feel it in my bones that something bad going to happened. Even though I'm trying to live in the moment everythig feels off. My vision of some events like shooting which took place in our kitchen is blur. I know every word that my wife going to tell me. There is a lot of things that I can say about Kate Beckett but she deffinetly is not predictable at least not always. It's becoming strange and boring like I was sleeping but I didn't want to wake up. I wanted this to be true but every passed second it was more like a book than real life. Even though my whole life was like a deam, my amazing and smart daughter, my beautiful wife, friends and my career - all perfect even my mother and father-in-law. I started to hear some strange noises.  
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP  
No way!  
"Hi Dad" it was Alexis voice. Now I'm for sure dreaming. I tried to open my eyes, but I failed. I tried again and I did it. I had to close them again because I wasn't used to light.  
"Dad you're awake!" Alexis said.  
"Yeah" I answered as I started to feel pain on my right side.  
"What happened? Where is Kate?" I asked.  
"Dad" she said as tears came into her eyes.  
"It's ok. I'm ok now just tell me I need to know." I heard as my heartbeat sped up.  
"Dad you were shoot. Both of you. This morning in loft. You though that locksat case is closed, but apparently it wasn't. You got one bullet on your right side. It dammaged your bone. I was very afraid."  
"What about Kate where is she?"  
"Kate well ... she is still in surgery. It's not good." she said with tears while taking my hand." She got more bullet wounds than you. At least 2, but I'm not sure. Lanie walked to talk with her friend who is a doctor here and saw Kate surgery for a while. They still operating so there is hope. Jesus please made her survive." my eyes started to be watery  
"I love her too daddy."  
"I know" I closed my eyes for a while and then asked.  
"How did we get here? And what happened with the shooter?"  
"Oh yeah. The shooter is dead. Kate somehow managed to shoot him down even though she was wounded."  
"That sounds like my wife. Continue please."  
"Ok so after Kate killed this man she called Ryan that you need 2 ambulances at the loft."  
"I don't remember this."  
"You could passed out by then."  
"But she was the one who got more bullets, she was bleeding harder not me." I said amazed how strong Beckett is.  
"She's a fighter dad and she is able to do everythig to save people she love."  
"That's true."  
"After the phone call Kevin did what Beckett asked for and rushed to the loft with Lanie, Javi and Vikram. When they arrived they heard a smoke alarm."  
"Smoke alarm?" I asked suprised.  
"Yeah you left a frying pan on a gas burner."  
"Oh yes I was about to make a breakfast." I said sadly  
"Hey dad it wasn't your fault. Guys opened the door Vikram used a fire extinguisher, Lanie and Kevin put a pressure on your wounds and Javi took care about the assassin. I'd never been more scared."  
"It's ok Pumpkin. I hope it will be ok. Thank you and I'm sorry for this."  
"The doctor should be here in a minute. You probably need another surgery to remove the loose piece of the bone. But it will be ok. Almost none risk."  
"Oh ok."  
"I'm gonna look for Lanie ask about Kate. She was worried what makes me worried too."  
"Why she was worried?"  
"Doctor said that there were some complications which are under control but..."  
"I understand."  
"Gram is here so I will go look for Lanie."  
"Ok thanks, and please tell me as soon as you know something."  
"I will. I love here too." she smiled sadly.  
"See you."  
"See you too dad." and she left.  
"Hello Richard. How are you feeling?"  
"Hi mother. I'm fine. I just had a beautiful dream and now I realized that this could never come true. That she could..." I was trying to finish my sentence but my mother stopped me.  
"RICHARD ALEXANDER RODGERS CASTLE HOW COULD YOU DOUBT IN YOUR WIFE." My mother said angrily  
"Katherine is one of the strongest women I'd ever met. None of your girlfriends impressed me as she did. And she's a part of our family now and you know how stubborn we could be." She smiled slightly.  
"Now tell me about the dream, if it's not...you know..."  
"Mother no it wasn't. We just were eating breakfast me, Kate and and our 3 kids."  
"3 kids poor woman"  
"It was perfect"  
"I bet it was" I wanted to tell her more but then doctor came. Please Kate be strong for me, our family and for our future. I'm not able to live without you.


	2. Tell me the truth

ALEXIS POV   
I left my dad's room and head back to the waiting room. Lanie left 40 minutes ago, so I thought that she was done talking with this doctor. But when I get to the room there was no sign of ME. I looked around again only to see Jim, Kevin, Javi, Vikram, Hayley and some other people.   
"Any news?" I asked Hayley.   
"Sorry, but nothing new came up." She said sadly.   
"How is your dad?"  
"He's awake doctor is checking on him. He is in some pain, but obviously more worried about Kate."  
"Yeah your dad had a big luck."   
"Have you seen Lanie?"  
"Not since you both left about 40 minutes ago."   
"Guess I'm gonna look for her around. If you see Lanie tell her to wait for me here. I should be back in a few."   
"Ok and Lex" I looked at her again.  
"She will be fine, they will."  
"Yeah, I hope so." And I left.

I was walking in hospital corridors recapturing everything that happened today. First I got a message from the smoke detector. Next think I remembered was rushing to the loft with Hayley from PI office. When we came in front of the building I saw 2 departing ambulances and coroner van. I felt my heart comes up in my throat. I saw Lanie and Kevin with their hands covered in blood.   
"What happened? Why you have blood on your hands? It was only a smoke alarm and what the hell is coroner van doing here."  
"Calm down Alexis. They are on the way to the hospital. Someone attacked them in the loft. Van is for the shooter."   
"Shoot how bad?"   
"Your dad have one bullet in his arm..." Lanie stopped.  
"And Kate, what about her?"   
"She have 2 bullets and probably one graze." Lanie spoke again.  
"How.."Kevin interrupted me knowing what my next question is.   
"Beckett called me before she passed out. Still have no idea how she did it."   
"Is it connected to LokSat?" Hayley asked.   
"Unfortunately yes. We've been tricked" Javi said angrily.   
"Now it should be 100% done and we will made sure of this." Hayley spoke again.   
"The loft is ok, but it's a crime scene now. You can't come in to bring any clothes for them, but we will bring it later." Vikram added.   
Then was a way to the hospital, calling for Gram and Jim, waiting for any news and listening longer version of the story. 

I couldn't see Lanie so I decided to go to the bathroom and go back to the waiting room. When I opened the door to the ladies' room I heard somebody's sobs. I came closer to see that person and I saw her. It was Lanie!  
"Hey, Lanie what happened? Tell me she is ok." I asked horrified.  
"Oh Alexis sorry. I don't know anything new."  
"Please I need to know, dad needs too. You talked with a doctor, right?"   
"I...I do." She replied hesitantly.   
"And?" I felt tears coming to my eyes.  
"I...I shouldn't tell you. Really it's not supposed to be like this." She said trying to calm down.   
"Please." I said feeling the tears comming down on my cheeks.  
"Ok. So surgery went really good but then... there was a bad reaction to the medicine she got in the ambulance."   
"Ok, but Kate don't have any allergies so where this reaction came from?" She was silent. I knew she was hidding something from me and I wasn't sure if I want to know what.   
"Lanie?" I decided to ask. I have to know.  
"You're right she don't have any allergies. It's because of her current condition. This medicine which they gave to her is... is not... not good for..." She stopped and I could feel in my bones that the answer will be awful.   
"For?" I asked gently. I saw that she was fighting with her conscience.   
"Ok I will say, but don't tell anyone especially your dad." Lanie words made me scared but I agreed.   
"So well...Kate had luck. She was shoot in her belly, but the bullet... it didn't... Ok I just get to the point. She's pregnant. But they didn't know that. They gave her a cure that is not good for a pregnant woman. But if they didn't give it to her she could not make it to the hospital."  
"Oh my God. No one told me. Oh I can't lose my mom and my sibling at once. Tell me that there is a possibility that they both will make it." I said as I broke with tears. I love Kate. We are closer than ever before. She always came to comfort me when my mom didn't show off on the meeting with me. Long time ago I discovered that she somehow got the adress of where we are supposed to meet and hide to see if my real mom will came. Now it's our tradition to go on the meeting together and when Meredith didn't show they have a lot of fun together.   
"Very weak to be honest, but Kate is strong and so is your father. I think that this baby will be hell of a fighter. I just hope that it won't be so stubborn like Kate." We laugh together.   
"Your dad don't have to know right now, but they could ask him to choose between Kate's safety or their both lives."   
"I know. Geez Lanie if they will die dad won't gonna make it I'm not sure if me either."  
"They will be ok. They must be." I heard my phone rang.   
"It's gram dad wants to know how is Kate."  
"We need to pull it together. Then we check in the waiting room and go to your father."  
"Ok, lets go." I said wiping tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again sorry for the mistakes. Give me your oppinion and tell me if you see any mistakes. Autocorrect is a bitch hahah🤣 . 😘😘😘  



	3. How is Kate?

ALEXIS POV   
We went to dad's room without any new informations. I'm worried as hell and I can't tell dad about the baby. Not yet.   
"Alexis, what do you got?"  
"First things first dad. What doctor told you?" He gave me 'the look', but I didn't say a word. Granny was the one who broke the silence.   
"He is going to have a full recovery. Surgery that is waiting for him is not dangerous. It will take couple of minutes. They missed one piece of the bone. They will do it today. But please what do you both know about Kate?"  
"Well nothing new come up. We just came here straight from the waiting room."   
"Ok Alexis, but before you left me, you said that Lanie have a friend here who is updating her, Right?"  
"Yes, dad."  
"So what did he said, Lanie?" Dad asked desperately.  
"First calm down Castle."  
"How can I calm down, when you don't want to tell me how is my wife!"  
"Ok, ok... So Kate surgery was going ok..."  
"But..." Grandma said and put her hand on ME's shoulder. I'm not sure who she was trying to comfort more, Lanie or herself.  
"But..."Lanie said and looked at me. We both know that dad can't hear the truth.   
"But then some complications happened."  
"Oh God." That was the only words that gram was able to said.  
"What kind of complications?" Dad asked which was what we were afraid of.   
"It doesn't matter dad." I said a little too harsh. Granny and dad gave me a suspicious look.   
"She will came through this, she have to for us, for the b..." Well that wasn't good. Dad believed me in spite of my mistake, but grandma... I have a feeling that she got me.  
Lanie came with help. She hugged me and said.  
"Hey girl, Kate love all of you, all of us. She could accept the offer from this woman who was working with us on this Russian spy case, but she didn't."  
"Wait, what are you talking about Lanie. We didn't got any offer."   
"Yes Castle, you didn't. But Vikram told us that this woman offered them witness protection program. Kate preferred to push you a little bit away than leaving or in worst case scenario to pretend to be dead."   
"I... I didn't know about this."  
"She loves you so much that there is no way that she will give up."  
I was surprised. Kate wanted to risk her life only to be close to us.  
"Hey Castle how are you?"  
"I'm fine thanks for asking Kev. Did something happened?"  
"Oh no it's just... doctor wants to speak with Lanie so I came for her." I felt that Lanie stiffened. Fear from the bathroom come back to both of us.   
"Oh... ok. Alexis will you go with me?"   
"Yyes." Please that must be something good.  
"Detective Ryan. Can you stay here with my son. I would like to join Alexis and doctor Parish. I could ask detective Esposito to join you." Oh no that's not a good idea.  
"Grann don't you want to stay with dad. Detective Ryan probably have to come back to his family."  
"It's no problem Alexis. I can stay here." So now we will have to tell her the truth. She won't give up.  
We left the room and then the question hit us.  
"What are you two hiding? You can hide something from my son, because of his condition, but not from me. I'm an actress I can see bad acting."  
"Please leave it grandma. It's..."  
"Alexis she is my daughter-in-law, but I love her as my real one so speak to me!" Tears came to my eyes.  
"She is pregnant. In the ambulance they gave her a drug that isn't ment for a pregnant woman. It was the only way to save her life. When they got here doctor runs a blood test. When results came back they tried to  
minimize the consequences but still it's not good. I'm sorry to tell you this Martha. They are fighting so there is hope. Baby and Kate will make it. They have to."  
I was in older redhead embrace which helped me to calm down. I looked at her face and she was happy, scared, but happy.  
"I'm gonna be grandmother again! Yes! Oh God poor Kate. Tell me Lanie that bullet didn't damage the baby?" She asked with watery eyes.  
"Baby what are you talking about? Is Katie pregnant?" Jim show up from nowhere and asked. That is not right. Kate should be the one who will inform us.   
"Yes, Jim we were about to tell you. Sorry that you have to find out like this." Lanie answered first.  
"We are gonna be grandparents!" He said and hugged Martha.  
"Yes we are." They looked so happy but then reality came back.  
"Lanie can you answer the question?"  
"I think that the baby..."  
"Wasn't hit." Doctor finished the sentence.   
"But their condition is still very bad. I want to ask you one very important question. Do you want us to save both of them? I know it's hard, but Kate alone could have more chances to survive. Sorry, but you need to make a quick decision."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter and small cliffhanger. Hope you enjoyed it. Write comments below. I'd like to see what you think. 😘😘😘


	4. How is Kate? part 2

Lanie POV

Minutes passed. Doctor told us everything. 41% to full recovery alone 37% with the baby. It was Jim decision to make, because Castle after today's event couldn't think straight. We decided to help Kate's father, because that wasn't easy decision and we all are kind of a family. 4% more or less not much in theory, but every % is important if we talking about someone's life.   
"I think it's hard, but Katie will never forgive me if I would tell them to save only her." Jim said.  
"You're right, but what about Richard, he could lost his wife and child at once and I can't even imagine how he will put himself together after that." Martha said.  
"Yeah, but in theory he doesn't know about the baby." Alexis told the truth.  
"I'm on Jim's side. She would never forgive us for that and why we even think that they will not survive this. I know 37%, but how much do you think she got after being shoot on Montgomery's funeral. 2% she got 2% and she did it, because Castle said that he loves her. And now she knows that so she will be fighting. Fighting for their future for our future. Plus I think she desperately needs to know how is Rick and what happened to the LokSat. I think I don't need to remind you how stubborn she can be to got information that she needs to know."   
"You're right Lanie. And by the way this 37% is to full recovery not to survive. " They all agreed and Jim told doctor what to do. They have to save them both. There is no other option. 

We were waiting for what it felt like forever. In meantime other doctor removed this loose piece of the bone from Castle. I'm so grateful for this small surgery, because now Castle is sleeping and we don't have to explain him why Kate is still in there. I was on edge to got a heart attack from stress, but then I saw a familiar face coming from the operating room.  
"Chris" I jumped up to my old friend from the university who I set up for a date once with Kate.  
"Lanie and the rest of Kate's family. Well the surgery is over. They are still critical, but they are alive. The incoming 48h will be important. I can't promise you anything, but there are high chances that they both will survive. I just don't know yet if she will have 100% recovery, but we will get to that."   
"Oh thank God" Martha said. Everyone breathe a sigh of relief.  
"Any news?" Ryan and Espo asked. They went to the cafeteria so they didn't hear what the doctor said, which is good because they still don't know about the baby. At least Kate will be able to surprise them and Castle.  
"She's out of surgery. Alive, but still critical."  
"Ohh that's great. I mean not the fact that she's critical, but the fact she's alive." Kevin said.  
"When can we see her?" Alexis asked.   
"Well we will take her to the room next to your dad's, but for now you can just look at her through the window. She shouldn't have any visitors for now. I will tell you tomorrow if you can go to her. Everything depends on her condition."  
"Thank you doctor for saving my daughter." Jim said.  
"You shouldn't thank me. Me and my friends were doing our job. She was the one who was fighting not us."  
"Ok thank you again. Now let's go see how Richard is and tell him the news." Martha said.


	5. Visitor

Castle POV

I woke up again in my hospital bed. I couldn't remember falling asleep on the first place, but it's probably because of anesthesia. I couldn't see anybody around me. I called Alexis, my mother and boys, but no one showed up. I started to be mad at myself. How could I fall asleep when Kate is fighting for her life? What kind of husband I am? Maybe something happened? Something definitely happened, because no one is here with me. I have to go check it.   
"Richard what are you doing?" my mother asked.   
"I...I was trying to stand up. Something happened, something must have happened, no one was here so I was going to check it out by myself."  
"Oh son come on, lie down." My mother said as the rest of my family and friends walked to the room.  
"First tell me how is she." I eyed everyone in the room. I saw that my mom, Alexis, Lanie and Jim have been crying. Oh no that is not good.   
"Dad..." Alexis said and I saw her watery eyes. "...She's alive!" Now I see it. It was tears from happiness. "Oh, Thank you ." Now I was crying to.  
"When can I see her?" I asked. Even though they told me that she is alive I have to see her and touch her to be sure that this is not a dream.   
"Dad you should be in bed and she can't have visitors for now. She is in the next room. We can only look at her through the window. Maybe we can go to her room tomorrow, but it depends on her condition, she is still not well." There was a pause, but I decided to break the silence.   
"I want to go to this window and I don't care about anythig I have to see her."  
"Right now doctors are with her, but my friend will come here and tell us something more." Lanie said.  
"Ok, but next think he will leave the room I go to the window."  
"Ok" Alexis agreed.   
Couple minutes later I heard a knock to my door. I was prepared to see the doctor, but it was somebody else.  
"Hi Castle, how are you?"  
"I'm fine Hayley, I just want to see that Kate is ok too."   
"I understand. I brought somebody on my way here." I saw Hayley walking in the room and someone behind her.  
"Hello Richard."  
"What are you doing here Rita? Are you working with them?"  
Boys immediately pointed their guns on her.   
"Hey hey hey easy, I'm not with LokSat. Richard I know that you can have problem with trusting me, but the latest thing I wanted to do is hurt you or Kate."  
"Ok boys lower your guns." I said.  
"Mason was working with us, we both trusted him. I called him to help you, but I would never do that knowing that he's LokSat..."  
"I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I have to ask. Who are you?" My mother asked.   
"Oh yes Martha. My name is Rita. I'm Jackson's wife, Richard's stepmother."  
"Ohhh I... I didn't know that Jackson have a wife. Richard why didn't you invite your stepmother on a dinner or something and introduce us to each other or at least her to me."   
"Well Kate was the one who meet her first and introduce Rita to me, but we didn't have much time then." I defend myself.  
"That's true and after what happened in Paris we both trying to not connect us to you. It's for your safety. Jackson still have pangs of conscience, because of Alexis's kidnapping. And now I have them too because I put you in front of a LokSat not even knowing this." She was talking the truth. I can see it in her eyes.  
"Can I have a question for you?" She nodded. "Did you offered Kate witness protection program?"  
"Yes, I do. Why are you asking?"  
"Because I was mad at her in the beginning for running away, but now I can see that she actually didn't do that."  
"Well she didn't want to resign from her life. Life that she was working hard to have. This is exactly what she said." After Rita's words I felt dumb. I was mad at Kate for leaving me, but she actually did the opposite thing.  
"And Richard, I was the one who suggested her to push you away. She was blaming herself for her former team death. I said that this is not her fault, but if something will happen to you or her family and friends, then it will be on her consciousness. After what happened believe me I regret this. I hope you will get better soon. If you will need something tell Kate to contact me." Then she left. Room was silent until we heard knock to the door, again. This time it was a doctor.   
"Hello Mr. Castle, your wife is checked. You can go to the window and see her. I think that you will be allowed to came in to her room tomorrow, if everything will be fine. She is in medical coma, but she is a fighter and probably will wake up by the end of a week. I also planning to put you into the same room, when she will be stable."  
"Thank you doctor."  
"It's not a problem. I will do everything for my friends, right Lanie?"  
"Right, thank you."  
He smiled and go back to his work, while I was ready to go and see my wife. When I saw her I was terrified and happy. I almost lost her. But now I see her, she is breathing and her heart still works hard.  
"She will be ok dad. We will go in there tomorrow. Now you need to rest."


	6. Who are you?

Lanie POW

Whole week passed. Kate was still in coma. Rick was about to be released tomorrow, but since yesterday they are sharing a room and I don't think that Castle is going to leave Kate's side and ho back to his loft. Luckily we managed to hide her pregnancy from him. Me, Castle and Alexis were in the middle of the discussion, but I stepped down a while ago and focused on my friend. At first I didn't believe it, but then it happened again. HER HAND MOVED.   
'SHHH' I said to debating Castles.  
'I think she's waking up.'  
'What?!' They both rushed to my side.  
'Kate it's ok. Open your eyes please' Rick almost begged her to wake up.  
'Mhmm' She moaned.   
'Kate honey...' She opened her eyes and looked at me. I have her a glass of water which she immediately drunk.  
'Who... who are you?' What no it's impossible how could she don't remember me. We are working together for over decade.  
'Ka.. Kate it's me Lanie.' We were all so worried.   
'Hahah I just kidding Lanie.'  
'Oh hell I just want to punch you so much for this girl.'  
'It's just a revenge for the last time.' She said as we laught.  
'What happened last time?' Castle asked.  
'Rick you're ok? I didn't saw you, I'm sorry.'  
'Don't be I'm fine, besides we are alive thanks to you. You killed this son of a bitch and called boys. Plus I'm happy that you didn't lose your sense of humor. And now answer me what happened last time.'  
' Well after I got shoot and wake up in the hospital Lanie said that I was in coma for 3 years and you finally found someone else. I have to say that I was kind of devastated, which was a proof for her that I love you.'   
'Well I didn't heard it before.' Rick said and I feel embarrassed for what I did, but I needed to know and realize her that she loves him.  
'What about LokSat is it finally done? I can't keep my family in danger forever.'  
'Boys and Hayley are checking everything again but it looks like it's done. You did it Kate.'  
'We did it Castle.'  
'Hey Kate do you need anything?' Alexis asked.  
'Well I could really use some more water if it's not a problem.'  
'Not at all. Dad will go get some water for Kate while we will file Kate in her medical condition. Oh and call the doctor.' Alexis have right we have to get Castle of from here so we can tell Kate about her pregnancy. I saw that he is not happy about leaving Kate right after she wake up so I stepped in.  
'Yeah we know better medical stuff plus Chris told you to move a little soo...'  
'Yeah yeah I'm going. I willbe as soon as possible. I love you and I'm happy that you woke up.' He kisses her in the forehead and leave.  
'This Chris is our doctor?'   
'Yeah Kate, but it's not a point. We just wanted to get rid of Castle because we wanted to tell you something. And it will be better if he will hear it from you.'  
'Ok what's it?' She asked a little scared.  
'Well you are pregnant Kate. I'm finally going to be an older sister.' Alexis said so excited.  
'Woow. Is... is the baby ok?'  
'Yeah it is you've been so lucky especially with this belly wound. We were so worried for you but looks like you both are a hell of a fighters.'  
'Haha so I'm guessing you are ok with it Alexis?'  
'Ofcourse I'm. You are the best form all of my father's girls to be a mother for my sibling. And I know that you are going to be a great mother for this baby like you are to me.'  
'Ohh thank you so much Alexis come please hug me.'  
'You sure? I don't want to hurt you.'  
'Screw this bandages I want my girls to hug me.'  
When we were hugging Castle came back.  
'Ohh what a nice view can I join you.'  
'Dad don't ruin the moment.'  
'Ok ok. What was this moment about.'  
'Nothing.' We answered together.  
'You will find out soon.' Kate answered.   
Chris come in to take her for the tests and USG scan (since we want to keep it as a secret he has to take her to the other room). We talked about Kate and Chris date which was a total disaster, but after that night they became friends. We all laught and then called the rest of our family to give them the news. Everything was fine, besides the fact that Kate's pregnancy is in danger of miscarriage so she will be putted in desk duty until the child will be born, but for now we didn't told about it to Castle or boys and Hayley.

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapter Alexis pov.  
It's my first fanfiction in English so sorry for the mistakes. Hope you enjoyed this. 😘❤


End file.
